Ever since I tried to glue my cat to the ceiling when I was six, I knew I was meant to be an artist. I was attempting to fuse the static nature of glue with the fluid, ever-changing nature of the common household cat, and I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t …

Safety is Fabulous Read More »

There are many days in video game ‘Over-Botch’ that have ascended to the hall of memes. There was that one April Fool’s Day when they added fall damage for 24 hours. First people jumping off tall things and watching their avatars crumple to the ground and respawn was shocking, and then people started doing it …

The Chosen Glazier Read More »

What is an office, these days? That might sound like a simple question at the outset, but think about it. If you’re heading into the workforce now, chances are you’ll never work in a prototypical office environment portrayed as standard in popular media – you know, the whole setup with cubicles and such. According to …

Flexibility Is Key Read More »

Note to self: you can’t know what people are going through, so try to be less judgemental. I had this minor altercation on the bus today that really drove this home. Basically, I was getting off the bus and this woman pushed past me while I was still coming down the steps, causing me to …

Note To Self Read More »

You know, I’m not overly sure that there’s any sort of functioning infrastructure in the West. You know how here in the East of Melbourne, we have structures for things, like how if your electricity is on the blink, you get a professional in to deal with it. Now, I haven’t been to the West, …

Post-Apocalypse Read More »

The final season of Fantasy is airing, and… look, it’s fine. It was fine, I should say. I look back at all those watch parties I had in my apartment, all the time I spent on forums discussing how I thought things would, go, arguing about the differences between the show and the original children’s …

The Fantasy Ends Read More »

Great – now I’m the laughing-stock of the entire Melbourne socialite community. At this point I’m going to have to either create a cure for cancer overnight, or Cynthia Chevrette is going to have to ‘accidentally’ upload another video of her morning jazzercise routine where she’s dancing around with her hairless cat in dinosaur pyjamas. …

Yellow and Red? Read More »

I don’t understand Stacey’s obsession with windows and doors. She claims they’re the ‘bridge between worlds’ – presumably, the worlds of outside and inside – and devotes a huge amount of attention to cleaning, decorating and generally admiring each and every one in her house. To her credit, it means they always look dazzling, although …

Utter Door-votion Read More »

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Well, I say the windows are the eyes of a building. That might sound strange, but think about it for a second. Picture yourself on the ninth floor of a building, gazing out over the cityscape below. Now, imagine you are the building looking out …

Windows Have It Read More »

A friend gave me a copy of Mayzie Rathbone’s autobiography, She Works Smart For the Money. Janine is always trying to make me more of a ‘normie’; it came with a note saying that one day, I could stop composing music on a guitar missing half of its strings, and weaving dresses from beads, and …

Lots of Honey Read More »