Great – now I’m the laughing-stock of the entire Melbourne socialite community. At this point I’m going to have to either create a cure for cancer overnight, or Cynthia Chevrette is going to have to ‘accidentally’ upload another video of her morning jazzercise routine where she’s dancing around with her hairless cat in dinosaur pyjamas. …

Yellow and Red? Read More »

If you’re going to do anything, do it with theatrics. That’s what my drama teacher taught me, and while they very obviously did not intend for me to take that and run with it for my entire life, I thought I’d just go ahead and do it anyway, so… joke’s on them. It’s worked out …

Window Cleaning, Dramatically Read More »

I don’t understand Stacey’s obsession with windows and doors. She claims they’re the ‘bridge between worlds’ – presumably, the worlds of outside and inside – and devotes a huge amount of attention to cleaning, decorating and generally admiring each and every one in her house. To her credit, it means they always look dazzling, although …

Utter Door-votion Read More »

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Well, I say the windows are the eyes of a building. That might sound strange, but think about it for a second. Picture yourself on the ninth floor of a building, gazing out over the cityscape below. Now, imagine you are the building looking out …

Windows Have It Read More »

A friend gave me a copy of Mayzie Rathbone’s autobiography, She Works Smart For the Money. Janine is always trying to make me more of a ‘normie’; it came with a note saying that one day, I could stop composing music on a guitar missing half of its strings, and weaving dresses from beads, and …

Lots of Honey Read More »