Delivering Outcomes

People think it’s easy being me. God only knows where they get that idea from. I can hardly think of a more stressful, time-pressured job than mine. Since when is circumnavigating the globe by sled in a single night, stopping off at billions of houses along the way, an easy job? If you think that, then you’re welcome to it!

Trust me, I’ve tried plenty of times to palm the role off to eager youngsters in search of adventure. A young person would be better suited to the task, really – I’m just not fit enough for it these days, and it requires an intrepid spirit of possibility. Invariably, though, these would-be replacements lose interest when the realise the true nature of the job, which is essentially being a glorified, airborne courier driver.

Maybe it’s time I looked into professional development for better time management. I’ve been told more than once that I’m setting myself up for an impossible task, trying to do so many deliveries on one night of the year. I’ve always argued that it works out as more than one night because of the time difference, but the deliveries aren’t split evenly over the hemispheres, so that doesn’t help as much as you’d think. 

What if I spread my deliveries out over a longer time span – even the whole course of a year? I guess my concern is that my clientele wouldn’t take too well to it. I mean, 85% of them are yet to learn to accept delayed gratification, and there’d surely be some tantrums if didn’t happen all on the one night. 

Still, the time to innovate is now. What I need is to hire someone with sales management skills. Development courses in that department must be a thing, but I’ve never been into the sales aspect; I just want someone to sell this revised packaged for me. A PR person wouldn’t go astray, either – the media’s bound to have a field day.