Diet Dudes

I reckon low-carb eating is contagious. Or at least, talking about it is. Ever since I talked to Boris at lunch, it’s all I’ve been able to talk about, which is exactly what he said happened to him after Baz tipped him off, who got it from Kerry-Anne. Point is, my colleagues are now all looking at me funny because I’ve been remarking on the relative merits of different types of rice all afternoon.

I’ve managed to shut my trap about it, but now I’m here furtively looking up companies that do low-carb meal delivery under the desk. The way Boris was extolling its virtues – from clearer thinking to weight loss and lean muscle gain – I’d be a fool not to try it out. The problem is that I don’t have time to figure out how to cook without carbs.

Maybe instead of thinking in terms of eating low-carb, I should focus on the flip side, which is high-protein. Meal delivery services, from what I can see, tend to take this approach – like, when they’re taking out the carbs, they replace them with protein. Focus on that side of it makes it seem a bit less daunting, and takes my mind off the lack of pasta. 

I can manage making myself a high-protein meal, surely. I’m a grown man, albeit one who’s now realising that he’s pretty reliant on pasta. It would be much easier to have something delivered, but then how would I learn to change my cooking habits? I guess seeing a ready-made take on the theme might give me some ideas, which I could then incorporate into my cooking. Still, I’d feel like I was cheating. 

That’s the thing – this whole diet plan business always feels like a competition, something you can ‘cheat’ on. Ever since I spoke to Boris, I’ve been secretly competing with him in my mind for… what? Best muscle gain to fat loss ratio? Least time spent cooking healthy meals? Most annoying dude in the office? I don’t even know.