Oh, Brother

My little brother is such a dork. He’s always plotting some scheme, which sort of sounds cool but really isn’t. It’s never anything good, or interesting, or even halfway feasible – just some half baked idea that he’s become obsessed with for reasons that nobody quite understands. Dad says he just has a creative streak, but I beg to differ.

If he was really that creative, you’d think he’d actually manage to create something every once in a while. What usually happens is he starts planning something, then realises how much work would be involved in actioning it and loses interest. More often than not, it’s left to me to clean up after him – whether that’s putting away an unfinished papier mache pirate ship, or helping him move all of his stuff out of the bathroom.

That second one is how I’m destined to spend my evening. See, little bro has decided that he wants to sleep in the bath from now on, and is currently on a mission to relocate everything from his bedroom into the family bathroom. We’ve all told him he can’t, and mum in particular has been very firm about it, yet he’s going ahead with it anyway. It’s obvious that all his stuff is going to have to go back in his room, but we’re all sort of letting him do just because he’s finally putting one of his schemes into action.

I never would have gotten away with this kind of unsanctioned bathroom refurbishment when I was 9. It’s pretty unfair. I never got to be the ‘creative’ child, and if I’d done anything like this I would have been labelled a troublemaker. Telling my parents to renovate my old bedroom into a new bathroom would certainly have been frowned upon.

I am surprised at just how much little bro seems to know about bathroom and laundry renovations. Melbourne schools surely aren’t teaching kids about renovation logistics, yet he seems to have a pretty realistic grip on what’s involved in terms of timelines and costs. What 9 year old kid knows those things? Like I said, he is a dork.