Parking Orders

The road outside our house is in complete disarray, and has been for over a week now. I’m starting to get really jack of it, not least because of this one particular worker who keeps singing 2010s-era Britney Spears at the top of his lungs with wrong lyrics. He’s also parking his vehicle really close to where my driveway comes out onto the street. 

It’s not technically an illegal park, as it just clears the line that’s supposed to allow me to back out safely, but in practice it’s too close for comfort. Every morning I get a cortisol spike as I miss getting into a scrape by a hair’s breadth, and I can’t seem to catch him at an opportune moment to mention it. By the time I come out of the house, he’s always hard at work, singing ‘Work Borscht’ with such gusto that it’s all I can do not to go back inside and slow-cook some beetroots. 

I get that the street has limited parking and that people are going to use any and all available space, but still, I feel like maybe this work site could do with a better traffic management plan – that’s if they have one in the first place. I mean, if there weren’t several trucks parked in front of the block that’s being worked on, the builders wouldn’t need to pack in quite so tightly. And if the contents of the block were more organised, the trucks could park on it instead of on the street. 

Surely there are enough traffic consultants across Melbourne to address these situations with a minimum of fuss. In this day and age, parking considerations for work sites on residential streets should be industry standard. Not that I know the first thing about the building industry and how it relates to council car parking regulations, but I’d be amazed if there was no established word on the matter. 

Even as I type this, I can hear that guy singing ‘Plumber Party’ with abandon. There’d be restrictions on that too, if it was up to me.